I’m sitting, curled up with a sneaky handful of the kid’s Easter eggs, on the couch in our family room. For the first time in months, I’ve had the urge to write… and with the kids playing outside, I’ve actually got time to grab my laptop and start tapping away.
Only problem is… I have no idea what to write about.
After a fairly harrowing start to the year, with depression constantly nipping at my toes, I’m finally back on an even keel again. The urge to pour out my feelings into my diary as a way to get through each day is fading. That feeling of constant dread in the pit of my stomach is gone. I feel like I can participate in normal life again… able to feel joy, happiness and contentment.
But writing about feeling normal doesn’t seem like an interesting topic for a blog about being a mum with a mental illness. And so, I’m sitting here – munching away on my third Easter egg – wondering what to write about instead.
To be honest, feeling normal is probably a topic we should talk about more.
I’m sure that most of us mums have days, weeks, months or even years where life ticks along quite normally. Times when our minds aren’t racing uncontrollably, or our stomach isn’t tied up in knots of anxiety. Periods where other mums at school pick-up – or people we meet – would have no idea of the struggles that we have faced, or those that may lie in wait, just around the corner.
For those of us who have worked hard to get back to what we see as ‘normal everyday life’ – or who work hard to have things stay that way – it’s not something that we take for granted. Being able to participate fully in normal everyday life is a blessing. Being able to be there for our family – even on the most mundane days – is a blessing.
Sometimes it’s not until we experience a life not so ordinary, that we appreciate just how wonderful an ordinary life actually can be.
Having gone through ups and downs with Bipolar, how do you feel when things seem to go back to ‘normal’?